Yah, script is very nearly done.
I took a left turn halfway through my first concept that demanded a whole rewrite after realizing the initial idea was both much longer to produce and would expire in time.
The new rendition is more universal and can serve us forever (if there are no major revisions to the nature of the game).
This thing kicked my ass over and over, but I’ve got a draft that doesn’t make me puke.
Honestly, I did not expect this thing to be so difficult but there’s a hard mix of speaking in-voice, conveying enough of the overview, and flowing like a proper video ought to.
Had to scrap my most fun ideas for the sake of brevity (we’d be at 10-20 mins instead of 1-2) and keep everything just light-touch enough to convey the most important ideas without prattling on and on. [I weep for the loss of Dilbert and the Libra Mortis]
Regardless of all that, I think this covers the most important core concepts to the game. Goes over Concords and The Seventeen a bit, the philosophical differences, some key moments / highlights from the story, and a general invitation to join in.
I have considered breaking character a bit more and using some better instruction on how to follow along, explain that it’s not a rigidly mechanical game, etc… but I dunno…
Anyway, I’m not 100% in love with this thing and comments are open for editing, so I’m inviting everyone interested to mark this shit up with all your nitpicks and I’ll take another pass at it with all them in mind.
Note: I cut the content I wrote about The Conclave because although it’s a nice coolfactor, I don’t think it’s as good of a sell and it’s long enough and clunky enough already. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
GIVE ME NOTES
Strong edits came through via Worm of the Nameless.
Much appreciated, it fits the usual cadence better.
Tweaked it a little and set the revision as default.
Still curious if there’s anything critical we’re missing here.
@deadness.eth - would love your take on this.
GM <3
Well to me this is good info so far.
It reads a little like a listing of things as we always start with “the swampwitch does this, the blackguild does this, Yorn the Hole and Yogg the Eye…”
Maybe we need some more tention as for now, we’d repetedly be showing faces of the named ones in the video and then putting some slight animation over them of what they doing… Could be a little boring for the watcher. But this is only critique by someone who is to confused by the story to deliver any better so it can be ignored.
Whilst reading I pictured many layerd scenes and artworks I have to produce along the way. So lots of work, but cool work <3
To me it would be helpful if someone could record a voiceover of the script, so I can align a drafted storyboard on the VO so we have all the timings and Scenes together. If everyone is fine with the result, I’d start creating assets and scenes and pt together the video.
Does this make sense to you?
Yah, I hear you. It does get a little “listy” in two parts, but I’m not sure how else to approach.
Are there any sequences / visuals that you really want to incorporate, or think would look really good? Finding a clever way to shoehorn such might be a good way to break up the “lesson plan” with something more spectacular.
You mention confusion by the story. Does this intro text help you at all?
If not, we may need a new approach to it.
You’ll definitely have VO before we get to the composition and storyboarding phase.
As for adding some animation to the “lesson plan” I think we can make it more exciting than just showing their character or the Token of Concord in mention - perhaps compose some scenes that are visually exciting and communicate the message:
I think there are many visuals that can be made far more interesting than just the PFPs moving a bit. We can communicate a lot more by representing their concepts or other aspects of what they are, rather than just visually showing exactly what the script is saying.
Yeah I think having cool keyvisuals with animated features and some different shots to display what’s happening is a good idea… we can incorporate things the community already brought to the table. animations and scenes that match the wagdie artstyle.
to me the story is just hard to follow, as it’s evolving with so many characters and mysterious aspects and I don’t have the deepest level of insight.
So many things happen in our human nft space, like ape and toad burning, but then there is this conclave… temple like quite area where we all hang and burn ourselves when we throw a party. then we travel the land and fight in arenas and try to understand the mystery of this land, while we try to attract new collectors from the real nft world with all our work… then there is the rituals I always miss. I think I find it confusing cause the story merges with the IRL nft space… and I’m mostly to stoned and baffled by this 
Someone also offered to create a VO of the script, do you remember who that was?
If we got the VO I can start sketching a animatic for the video.
I offered to do VO, but the way this script is written, it sounds a lot like She Who Smiles. Might need to seek The Two for contribution on that part, if we’re happy with the script.
Though, I’m not sure we’re at final text yet.
While I’m sure this would make a fine video, there’s a pit in me that’s got doubt it’s the best. Whether that’s just author’s insecurity or not, can’t say, but I feel it’s not done revision just yet.
If you’re eager to get a jump on artworks, I’d say go ahead and start creating some concepts. Words are easier to change than visual, and good artwork can always be accomodated for. Whatever you produce can be folded into however the script adapts.
@Icculus - This is your bounty. How you feeling about the script as-is?
Do any of the other Keepers have a hot take on this thing?
Is it approachable enough?
I think this won’t be a oneway workflow as we align things on the way. If the VO is barely okay, I can start sketching. We can then check with something visual to slide along and see if the concept works. From there, it will surely give feedback and adaptions to script and animatic. I will ask “oh it would be cool to do this lika bla…” someone will say “but I don’t think…” And so it will be a pretty collaborative thing.
As I’m writing this an idea falls into my empty skelly head…
Why are we explaining all the stuff happening in the story in detail but instead we could give a rough frame of what this wagdie is all about… and after that go into depth.
This approach would help a mind like me understand faster what it’s all about.
So, there’s two way to approach that.
Welcome to WAGDIE, an on-chain fantasy roleplaying experience with a community driven choose-your-own-adventure played over Twitter that features incredible pixel artwork, talented voice work, and reactive gameplay mechanics controlled by an invisible game master.
or
Welcome to The Forsaken Lands, you are a traveler and can find Tokens of Concord that will connect you groups led by The Seventeen. There are many adventures that have happened, and many more to come. What role will you play?
I honestly don’t know which is better.
My first drafts were a lot more like the first concept, but it didn’t feel right.
The second sounds and feels better, but the first one helps a newbie more I think.
To me it is till unclear who writes the story. One can contribute with side happening which are fun, but what sets a storyline as “active” in the community? wagdie itself does not retweet every community entry, so there is some sort of selection. If it is clear whos exactly to contribute. there are snapshot proposals, but how to create one for the storyline.
I think we’d attract more people if we simplify things for them.
It might repulse many that there is 10 discords and guilds and all the web apps… and the map…and… most of my NFT fam is not into wagdie cause it’s to hard to understand in the first place… maybe we should somehow get the core of wagdie into that vdeo
Yah, I agree we skip the “you can make your own lore and contribute by writing tweets and such” because that’s too much to take in and asks too much of a new participant.
Highlighting the main interactions should focus on:
Anything beyond that is too much for a newbie.
totally agree with you.
Maybe we should have a “Newbie intro video” and a seperate “what happened so far short”
to make it easier for us to get a script going.
One to onboard them and one to entertain them as they understood what’s up
This isn’t a terrible idea. You down to do twice as much work? 
With the script above, we skip all of the “what happened so far” concept.
It highlights some moments that have passed, but doesn’t tell our story.
There’s a ton it leaves out, skims over, and doesn’t care about chronology.
I’m curious what framing would be most newcomer friendly for an intro video.
I see a little less value in a total recap video - it would probably be too long.
It would also get out of date relatively quickly.
yeah work is always a good thing.
Also think highlighting the mainevents is more interesting then a detailed story.
But let’s wait for some additional opinions on that
Yeye.
Down to hear a lot more opinions from others too.
I’m a writer, but not an expert marketer.
So, curious for someone with that brain to analyze current script.
We will handle all VO.
We approve of this idea but would like to keep the focus on getting the intro video out first.
This may be a separate video and we can’t really do it yet… but at some point I really want to highlight the factions… by starting with a 17, showing the traits then their concord tokens.
Right now it’s PVE with occasional bouts of PVP… I wonder as this world evolves if there would be more PVP and even RISK like battles, staking and holding land, game of thrones and faction/concord wars.
Anyways food for thought. It’s the weekend so King I’ll dedicate some time to this script and your podcast ones.
Podcast scripts are already in recording with @Gina so no edits needed there.
Just taking feedback on this badboi.